- Things You Think Only You Do

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.