Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.