When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.