Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Think about breathing...

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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I **** with no hands.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.