- Things You Think Only You Do

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.