Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Courtesy flush.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.