For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.