Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.