- Things You Think Only You Do

Thinking your life is a movie...

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.