play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.