while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.