While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I scratch and sniff.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Sometimes I toot.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.