I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

I **** with no hands.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

I gotta get down of Friday

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.