- Things You Think Only You Do

only read the short jokes on this website

Videotape my mother in the shower.

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

test how many stares you can scale in one step

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.