Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

I chew my ice cream.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.