shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.