Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.