Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Sitting down in the shower

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

I **** with no hands.

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.