When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.