- Things You Think Only You Do

Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Smoking in the shower.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

fap

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.