Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

Picking my nose.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Being fat

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.