Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Take baths

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.