I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.