I want to suck on your penis

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.