Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.