masturbate quietly in my room.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.