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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

im going to kill that person and get away with it

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

Walk out of movie thinking that I would be like them some day.

when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

I apologize, when i bump against things.

Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.