When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.