I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.