imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Talk to my cat.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.