Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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I eat ass

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Talk to my cat.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.