I can't trill my R's

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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k. everyone

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.