Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.