Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.