Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Vote for the other guy

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.