Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.