I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.