Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.