I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

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At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.