Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.