sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Pee in the shower

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.