When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.