when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Eat ice by itself

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.