When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.