Eat ice by itself

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.