Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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wonder who wrote these things

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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????????????????????C?????????

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.