think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -55

always check thde back seat before starting the car

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Poop naked.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

thumb_up thumb_down -20

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Make hand gestures when talking on phone

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

KICK THE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.