Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.