Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.