Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.