Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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speak proper english

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.