When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.