Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.