Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.