Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

Pee in the shower

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.