Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Pee in the shower

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.