Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.