Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Poop naked.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.