When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

check shower for murder then pee

Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.