try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.