Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.