Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.