Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.