When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.