Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.