My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.