Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

It's hot but I still have on covers

Play with my own boobs for no reason

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.