I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Vote for the other guy

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.