I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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wonder who wrote these things

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.