After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -68

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

thumb_up thumb_down -70

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

thumb_up thumb_down -120

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -27

While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.