Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Vote for the other guy

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.