pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Vote for the other guy

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.