This song will not come out of my head!

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.