When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.