When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Eat ice by itself

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.