I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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speak proper english

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.