A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

It's hot but I still have on covers

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

thumb_up thumb_down -45

This song will not come out of my head!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

thumb_up thumb_down -4

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

thumb_up thumb_down -14

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -26

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.