Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.