Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Boinked my neighbor

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.