When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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check shower for murder then pee

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.