really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.