When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.