Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.