I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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I pee in the shower. :3

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.