I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.