Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Poop naked.

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Having gay sex

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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check shower for murder then pee

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.