On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Vote for the other guy

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.