- Things You Think Only You Do

Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

It's hot but I still have on covers

I apologize, when i bump against things.

I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.