I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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call someone by a siblings name.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.