thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

I pee in the shower. :3

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

I masturbate with sandpaper

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.