when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Think about breathing...

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.