Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.