When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.