check shower for murder then pee

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Think about breathing...

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.