When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.