- Things You Think Only You Do

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

Look at my poop before flushing

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.