If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Vote for the other guy

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.