If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

I masturbate with sandpaper

Vote for the other guy

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.