Pretend my life is a videogame.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Think about breathing...

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -25

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.