When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Look at my poop before flushing

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.