I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Vote for the other guy

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.