Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Vote for the other guy

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.