think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.