Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.