When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Vote for the other guy

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Think about breathing...

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.