recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.