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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.
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-58
when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on
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-58
When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.
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-60
Think about breathing...
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-68
I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall
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-68
Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.
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-70
Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club
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-78
Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.
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-80
Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.
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-86
when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..
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-92
I wonder why people were happy after the last election
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-134
When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.
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+31
Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief
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+9
i always think people can hear my thoughts.
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+9
Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo
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+1
Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird
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-5
recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter
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-15
when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath
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-17
when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind
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-21
get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in
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-25
When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..
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-25
When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.
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-25
check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump
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-25
Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.
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-27
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.