When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.