I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.