When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Think about breathing...

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.