Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.