sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.