Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.