Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Look at my poop before flushing

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.