When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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I meow when my cat meows.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.