when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

thumb_up thumb_down

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Brake for tail-gaters

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.