Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.