Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Boinked my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.