Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.