Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.