Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.