Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

I think about other women when having sex

check shower for murder then pee

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

Vote for the other guy

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

I never feel bored

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.