When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -73

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.