When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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check shower for murder then pee

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.