When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Courtesy flush.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.