When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

Pee in my work garbage can.

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.