Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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shag your mom

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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humiliating little girls

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.