- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

fap

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.