I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.