At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -61

In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

thumb_up thumb_down +103

join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -64

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Vote for the other guy

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.