Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.