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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.
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-12
Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.
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-13
get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky
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-148
laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.
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-107
Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.
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-113
When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.
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-136
When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.
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-20
blow nose. look at kleenex.
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-2
Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.
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-15
I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup
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+25
I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.
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-9
Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.
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+206
When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...
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-42
The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com
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-39
When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.
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+35
Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.
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+6
I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.
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-70
Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.
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-47
Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".
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-19
Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.
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-22
Get turned on lookin at my own butt
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-41
I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"
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-104
Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..
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-36
I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.
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-15
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.