Tried to suck ur own penis

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.