Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

Fart at home

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.