When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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sit in the shower

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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listen to madonnas new album

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.