after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I have a phobia of incest

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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incognito mode on google chrome

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.