I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Poop naked.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.