I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I sleep in the nude.

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.