Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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misread dig bick

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.