When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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misread flashlight

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.