I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When talking to someone you sometimes start with the middle of a story through the end, complete with random details that seem totally unrelated to them, and THEN you remember to tell the beginning (which is the part that actually relates to what they were talking about).

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.