Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.