Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Fart at home

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.