sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

only read the short jokes on this website

Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.