Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

thumb_up thumb_down -46

kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Like a toy until it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.