When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +46

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +702

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

pick your nose and eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -109

When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

thumb_up thumb_down +227

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.