When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I like to burn candles in my room and some times I burn the hair on my arm and smell it afterwards

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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I always think I have special powers

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.