put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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I pee in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.