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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.
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-43
I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.
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+24
trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.
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-23
I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?
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-41
When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.
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-44
Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?
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-41
(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?
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-72
I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)
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-64
skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it
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+31
When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.
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-2
Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.
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-56
After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.
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-29
think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse
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-4
I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.
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-38
Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.
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-33
I pee in the shower. :3
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-16
When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.
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-2
I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.
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-53
Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.
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+59
Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.
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-33
I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.
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-51
I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda
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-52
When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.
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-79
Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.
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-55
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.