I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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When winking, I feel as if I have to wink with the other eye to be fair to both eyes.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.