When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.