I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.