when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.