get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Wonder why there are sites like this.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

????????????????????C?????????

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +350

I aphabeticalize my shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -113

when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.