I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.