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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

While reading these posts on here, I find that I do a lot of weird things that I've never really thought about.

I rape small children ;).

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

I think about other women when having sex

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

suck my own penis

When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.