I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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when i'm in a really good mood i think everybody is watching and admiring me

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.