when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

thumb_up thumb_down +413

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +440

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

thumb_up thumb_down +605

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.