The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

I have seen a UFO

I want to suck on your penis

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.