The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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I have seen a UFO

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I want to suck on your penis

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.