On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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i use my thumb when using a DS instead of using the stylus

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Breathe.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.