For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Gotta sleep with a fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

thumb_up thumb_down +89

I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

I chew around the center of carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Do somthing only you do

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

i see almost everything as a sign

thumb_up thumb_down -63

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.