See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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When I'm on an escalator going up, I always imagine myself falling back and how incredibly painful (and possibly bloody) it must be.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.