When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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kick something under the fridge that you dont want to pick up

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.