when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

thumb_up thumb_down -48

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I lift my butt when I'm farting

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I meow when my cat meows.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

check shower for murder then pee

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.