Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

Picking my nose.

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.