I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.