When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Fart at home

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.