When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.