Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

thumb_up thumb_down -101

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

thumb_up thumb_down +408

When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

thumb_up thumb_down +2,870

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I piss in the bed every night

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

thumb_up thumb_down +144

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

thumb_up thumb_down -42

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hate Skydoesminecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.