I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.