When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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sometimes I get so bored watching tv that I have an incredible urge to throw the remote at the tv. I would never do it, but I always fear I might and break the tv.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.