I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

get home from work and masturbate instantly

check shower for murder then pee

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

i see almost everything as a sign

make food scream if i chop them up.

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.