When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Peeing in the shower

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.