Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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being super bored at school

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.