I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I piss in the bed every night

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.