I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I gotta get down of Friday

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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Seeing a cartoon character eat something makes me hungry for it even though it may not taste good in real life and I know that.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.