eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

I scratch and sniff.

feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

Pee in my work garbage can.

Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.