get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.