DIY LOL
Anti-Pickup Line
Clarksonisms
Funny Tip Jars
Tattoo Failure
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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.
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+237
After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....
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+267
Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."
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+12
Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.
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-34
Having to step on snails to hear the crunch
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+55
When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.
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+1
When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.
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-63
Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm
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-129
Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.
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-39
I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk
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-8
If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.
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-39
Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves
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+8
scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good
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-87
I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)
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-22
Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet
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-145
always check thde back seat before starting the car
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-55
Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.
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-43
When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.
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+8
I always cry when I pray.
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-37
I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!
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-35
I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized
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-43
When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them
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-40
Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?
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-24
A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics
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+839
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.