After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

I want to suck on your penis

thumb_up thumb_down -88

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

thumb_up thumb_down -53

do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.