When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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ASMR

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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I think about life problems in the shower

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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wonder who wrote these things

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.