Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Breathe.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When I'm in a hurry I brush my teeth while peeing because I think it saves time.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.