I rehearse arguments in my head.

Sleep with pillow between legs

I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

When I'm bored I argue with myself inside my head.

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.