sit in the shower

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.