Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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make south park refferences every day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.