Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Picking my nose.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.