Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.