Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

thumb_up thumb_down

Give your neighbors names from movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

thumb_up thumb_down -32

After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down +259

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.