Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

Give your neighbors names from movies.

when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

I think about other women when having sex

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.