Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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get really confused

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I eat ass

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.