Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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humiliating little girls

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.