I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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I think Frozen is an overrated film

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Your mom

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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shag your mom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.