I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Music is ALWAYS playing in my head. I can't go a day without noticing that the whole time a song is just burned in my brain, playing over and over. Is this okay? Im pretty sure im the only one...

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.