Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

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I vote thumb dlown the ones that i dong like

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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Giving my dog a massage.

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I rape small children ;).

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.