I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.