Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Being fat

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.