feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

thumb_up thumb_down -55

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +61

when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Reading the terms of service :O....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

thumb_up thumb_down

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.