In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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im going to rape that girl

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.