Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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Every time I go in a bathroom I have to look behind the shower curtain.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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When i'm in a classroom I think about all of the possible ways to save everyone if something bad happens.

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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R A P E Children

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.