When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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act like people from movies or shows just because my life is that boring

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.