In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

im going to rape that girl

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I hold my breath in elevators

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.