My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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i see almost everything as a sign

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Pee in the shower

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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misread dig bick

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.