That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

Ur mum

I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

hallo

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.