acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.