Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

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Get creeped out at seeing 11:34 at least once per day. The number even turns up everywhere in my life such as my jewelry store.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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i masturbate with my feet

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Having leg bounce up and down for no reason at all.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.