sing like a pro in da shower

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.