That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Ur mum

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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hallo

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.