Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -68

run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +84

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -119

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

thumb_up thumb_down +45

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.