If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.