I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

thumb_up thumb_down -106

On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Tried to suck ur own penis

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -129

dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

thumb_up thumb_down -81

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.