I don't read the terms of service.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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I start doing some of the weird things I wouldn't have thought of doing if I hadn't I read them on this website.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Poo really loud

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.