I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.