if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever people dare accuse me of being too full off myself I tell them. Moral: I cant get to full of myself, the more me, the less you, ALL THE BETTER FOR EVERYONE! WE ARE VICTORY! (except you)

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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squezzing moisturisure/tooth paste really hard cos the top is all dry and then a shit load comes out all at once

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Breathe.

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.