Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.