when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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I eat ass

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.