When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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shag your mom

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I find it really hard to not respond a insulting youtube comment with a hopefully even bigger insult.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.