Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Ur mum

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.