Stab myself on a daily basis

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.