When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.