DIY LOL
Anti-Pickup Line
Can't Be Unseen
I AM DISAPPOINT
Quoted Coworkers
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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.
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-62
Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.
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-49
as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT
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-113
get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.
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-49
Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.
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+16
I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.
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+20
did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours
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+28
pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner
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-53
I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am
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-68
Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.
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+103
sometimes, i smell my own farts.
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+169
Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.
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+28
I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.
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-25
Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them
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+87
If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.
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+115
I masturbate with sandpaper
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-48
When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!
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-77
Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere
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-59
listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word
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-67
get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.
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+8
when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.
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+750
I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.
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-6
Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.
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+330
When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.
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-59
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.