Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.