make food scream if i chop them up.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I have seen a UFO

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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Not get any thumb ups on a post. Turns out there really are some things only I do...

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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laziness .... its all in the mind

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.