I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.