Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Not knowing whether to change it or not on a scantron test when the same letter appears more than 3 times in a row: A D C C C C .....but all the of my answers make sense!

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I piss in the bed every night

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.