When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Randomly think odd scenarios in your head and say if that happened this is what i would do and then forget about it the next day

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.