clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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i use dental dams

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Watch the same movies over and over

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.