If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Picking my nose.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.