Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.