get home from work and masturbate instantly

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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being super bored at shool

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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being super bored at school

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.