Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +203

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.