Use my phone to see what time it is

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.