While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.