Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Sit there with my hand just resting down my pants casually when I'm alone. It's comfy!

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.