Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.