Avoid as many television commercials as I can

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

thumb_up thumb_down -36

realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +238

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.