when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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RAPE CHILDREN

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.