when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

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I cant ride a bike

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Pee in the shower.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.