Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.