Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.