Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

Take off the ends of the banana (

I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.