sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

thumb_up thumb_down -76

this is a terrible website and i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -100

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down +339

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

thumb_up thumb_down -59

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

thumb_up thumb_down +173

I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +579

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Pick giant boogers and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.