when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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After watching a video of someone doing something tiring, I always feel tired in whichever body part they were using in the video

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.