I want to suck on your penis

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.