Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.