Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Being fat

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I make a conversation with myself when looking at mirrors !

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I Masturbate Daily.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Thinking about what you want to dream about while brushing your teeth at night.

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.