I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

sneeze without closing my eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +821

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

test how many stares you can scale in one step

thumb_up thumb_down -50

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.