if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.