When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I'm in my twenties and still don't drive.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.