A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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Dancing while hoovering

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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Being fat

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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thumb down this post

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.