I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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R A P E Children

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Breathe.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.