I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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When I'm bored I argue with myself inside my head.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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I rape small children ;).

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.