Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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shag your mom

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Laughing randomly because you remembered something that was funny earlier

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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I constantly talk to myself.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.