Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.