- Things You Think Only You Do

Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

I constantly talk to myself.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there

suck my own penis

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.