OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

Look at my poo before I flush it.

Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

Eating chicken at KFC.

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

Drinking and dialing people I dated.

Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.