I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.