Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.