OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Drinking and dialing people I dated.

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Yell at game shows when the people are stupid

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When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.