Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.