I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I dip my pizza crust in soda

thumb_up thumb_down +126

Get that shiver when you're peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

thumb_up thumb_down +251

i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

thumb_up thumb_down +465

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +641

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +887

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Videotape my mother in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

thumb_up thumb_down -26

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.