shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.