Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.