i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

fap

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

suck my own penis

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.