DIY LOL
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Parent Failure
Quoted Coworkers
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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.
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+207
Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss
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+336
I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.
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-31
I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers
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-11
hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.
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+102
Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.
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+362
When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.
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-12
before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked
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+167
think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth
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+284
Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.
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+311
Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.
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+350
When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in
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+18
I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.
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-23
I constantly talk to myself.
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+227
Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"
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-57
Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared
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+312
When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!
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-27
when looking for lost keys i return to the place they should be at least 5 times and look there
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+235
suck my own penis
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+36
Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.
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-29
Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.
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-50
If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.
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+339
I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.
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+203
I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.
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+251
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.