Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

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I read the down voted posts

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.