I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I hit the frig after sex

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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I eat ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.