I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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Made after doomsday plans

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.