after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

whenever im doing sumthing im not suppose to i feel like everybody knows what im doing

Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Picking my nose.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.