I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.