Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

when you bleed you suck your own blood

I hit the frig after sex

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.