Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.