Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

Picking my nose.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

At night when alone in my bed...I sometimes pretend like I got hit by a car or something, and my loved one is there with me...and I act out my last words...and how I would act. I've done this occasionally since I was 5. With different scenario's. Schmee

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.