I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Hate using public bathrooms because everyone can hear you pee.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Daydream about doing unspeakable things(killing, raping, beating, cutting, shooting, ect.) to the person you hate

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.