How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

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i smoke weed all day.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

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When I see myself in the mirror, I have to make a funny face just to make sure my face still works.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.