I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.