Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

chew on the side of my teeth

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

only read the short jokes on this website

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.