I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

thumb_up thumb_down -9

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.