Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.