say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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I read the down voted posts

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.