Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I want to suck on your penis

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.