I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.