when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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i use dental dams

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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I really like taking shits.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.