No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.