Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Having gay sex

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.