scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Slate the game you playing but always go back for more...ie FIFA, Cod!!!

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Wonder why there are sites like this.

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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blink

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.