Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Think of numbers as male or female.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

thumb_up thumb_down -34

getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

thumb_up thumb_down -102

When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

thumb_up thumb_down -85

When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -77

This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

thumb_up thumb_down -85

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -131

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.