I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

thumb_up thumb_down -17

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Take baths

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -108

i smoke weed all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -312

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.