Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.