When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

Picking my nose.

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

fart

I scratch and sniff.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.