Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.