Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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KICK THE CAN

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.