I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Take baths

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

i smoke weed all day.

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.