- Things You Think Only You Do

When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.