I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

I piss in the bed every night

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

Look at my poo before I flush it.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.