Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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fart

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.