I feel bad for not reading the terms of service on a website, because someone had to put a lot of effort into that.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I piss in the bed every night

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.