For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I have seen a UFO

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.