when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

thumb_up thumb_down +72

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

thumb_up thumb_down -73

While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +959

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -53

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,403

Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

thumb_up thumb_down +35

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.