Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

fart

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.