I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.