The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

Picking my nose.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

I refuse to forward chain letters

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

I eat ass

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.