sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

thumb_up thumb_down -149

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I constantly talk to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +226

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -103

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

thumb_up thumb_down -70

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.