The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Picking my nose.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I eat ass

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.