Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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I like to say really offensive and/and racist words when I'm on my own and no one can hear me. It just feels good to say things that I'm not allowed to.

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.