Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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When eating food leave back the food u like the most for last

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.