i smoke weed all day.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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i masturbate with my feet

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

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Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.