sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.