When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

after doing the dishes i get my hands wet after putting my jumper on cause i failed 2 dry my hands propley my arms a f***** cold dammit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I talk to my pet when no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,587

I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -60

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

thumb_up thumb_down +311

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.