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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.
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-40
Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett
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-82
Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...
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-35
You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.
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-50
See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...
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-43
while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening
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+313
I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.
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+12
When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror
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-88
I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.
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+129
Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you
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+100
I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.
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+1,686
Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.
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-29
When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.
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+71
Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.
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-5
Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.
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+78
Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.
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-31
When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.
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-13
Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.
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+134
Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.
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-67
When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.
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-16
Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud
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+46
I have never watched Star Wars.
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-39
I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.
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-58
when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper
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-40
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.