Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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I think about life problems in the shower

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.