After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

I like to eat the crust on pizzas

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

Courtesy flush.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.