Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.