Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.