I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Pee in the shower

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dream about the most amazing guy/girl that you have a relationship with and hope it comes true

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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i pretend to have the ability of telekinesis and move things around my house , garden, playground...

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.