After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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I read the down voted posts

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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sing in the shower

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.