Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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when two pictures look very similar, i go back and forth between them so it looks like they're moving

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Think about things I should be doing with my life.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Getting the strong urge to "woo" or scream in a large and quiet crowd, such as during church.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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ASMR

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.