When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.