1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.