I push the door open with my stomach

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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When your sitting on the toilet you watch a video,or read something on your ipod/ipad/etc

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.