1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

I apologize, when i bump against things.

When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

Put my hands together the 'other' way

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.