Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.