When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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misread dig bick

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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I control water in the shower.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.