When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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i use dental dams

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.