Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +237

I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sometimes i think i've been living a dream life, and one day im really gonna wake up in the middle of 9th grade math class and have to explain why i was sleeping on my desk and jerking off so much.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +532

use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +357

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +46

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +702

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.