I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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When walking along, I try to race someone walking towards me. For example, a letter box is ahead of me and there is someone walking towards me. I will try and reach the letter box before the other person without looking awkward.. then feel like God if I manage to do it.

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when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.