I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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Peeing in the shower

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.