When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

imagine squeezing your bladder in your hand when your peeing.

Pick giant boogers and eat them.

Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

i use dental dams

Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

Kick the fallen ice cube underneath the fridge

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.