Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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Having that feeling of entering the wrong classroom or bus, even though you know it is the right one.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pee in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.