Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Every time I switch pages on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com, I always end up reading If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Pee in the shower.

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.