Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Sitting down in the shower

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.