It's hot but I still have on covers

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.