Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Eat something to pass the time while I wait for my food in the microwave to be cooked.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.