Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

I can't trill my R's

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +907

feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Try to see nipples through body paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

chew on the side of my teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

make food scream if i chop them up.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.