get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.