When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Tried to suck ur own penis

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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k. everyone

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.