I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

chewing icecream before you swallow it

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.