Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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pick your nose and eat it

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When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.