When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.