My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.