I really enjoy self-pity.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.