Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.