I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

On YouTube when I go to like a comment or a video. I click the Like button 2 or 3 times just to make sure it went through.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -119

I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

thumb_up thumb_down -111

when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

thumb_up thumb_down -30

when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.