Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Vote for the other guy

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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I can't trill my R's

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.