i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

thumb_up thumb_down

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

misread dig bick

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

thumb_up thumb_down -62

play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I control water in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.