Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -40

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.