I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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I pee in the shower.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Picking my nose.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.