When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.