When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.