If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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conundrum.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.