Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.