when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I Masturbate Daily.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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i smoke weed all day.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.