When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.