I constantly talk to myself.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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think that things u do aren't gross and when other people do them its disgusting

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.