sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When they say the name of the movie in the movie i get excited o.O

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.