Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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misread dig bick

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.