Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I hit the frig after sex

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.