never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Having gay sex

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.