Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Your mom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.