When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.