I don't read the terms of service.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.