Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

thumb_up thumb_down +56

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.