really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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Walking down the toy isle in the store, and feeling a little sad that you're not a kid anymore.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Fart at home

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.