When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.