when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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listen to madonnas new album

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I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.