Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When I'm bored I argue with myself inside my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -12

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sometime i'll see someone or something like a person or a car and visualize a big meteorite smashing then out of nowhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.