Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Mayada stupid

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.