When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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Look up definitions of acronyms in text messages or Facebook that I feel I should know because I'm teenager.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.