when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Point your finger to the sky When your favorite comes on in the club or on the radio

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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penis

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.