Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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I was the real Stig...

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take 30 pictures and only find 1 where you dont look like shit

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.