When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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I cant ride a bike

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.