don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

Try and accomplish something before the timer on the microwave beeps :)

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

I mean Diana Ross.

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.