i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Locking your pet in the room and forcing it to spend time with you.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.