Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I hit the frig after sex

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Dancing while hoovering

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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Being fat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.