when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

thumb_up thumb_down -37

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

laziness .... its all in the mind

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +84

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.