(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.