When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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hate Justin Bieber

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.