Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

Pee in a glass and pour it down the sink, if someone is using the bathroom already.

I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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I piss in the bed every night

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

I talk to myself when I'm alone

When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.