get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.