when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

Vote for the other guy

play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

When I have headphones in, I wonder if my swallowing is extremely loud for everyone else too.

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.