Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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k. everyone

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.