check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.