check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.