....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.