I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When you stop to tie you shoe, you re-tie the other so one isnt tighter than the other.

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Having gay sex

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Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.